Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jules Verne-inspired movie is interested only in its 3-D effects.
by Wayne Melton

Being poked at or spit on would seem the unlucky fortune of a fifth-grader or your local zoo animal. But from the perspective of a movie like “Journey to the Center of the Earth,” it’s entertainment. A contemporary action-adventure inspired by the classic Jules Verne tale, the movie stars Brendan Fraser and the newish technology of Real D cinema, which still requires you to wear glasses like old-fashioned 3-D, but looks more realistic when, say, a trilobite twitters his antennae over you. The movie is essentially junk-food cinema — specializing in those types of phantom surprises, but depressingly flat and ordinary in most other respects.

Wall-E

The charms of “WALL-E” are dirty, beautiful and slightly familiar.
by Wayne Melton

3-D animation has finally found its muse: dirt. Most often used to render shiny, rotund humanoids or zippy anthropomorphic creatures living in spit-shined environs, the technology’s most striking images in the new Pixar film “WALL-E” are rusty, dusty and decaying. Unblemished, bulbous shapes are still present, but they’ve been usurped in splendor by dented and hole-riddled boxes, culminating in a spunky being known as WALL-E, a sort of robot janitor who bides his time on an Earth covered in heaps of corroding metal and decaying plastic.

Mongol

When the closing credits rolled for “Mongol,” I expected to see the words “Sponsored by the Mongolian Association for the Rehabilitation of Genghis Khan’s Image.” This award-bearing foreign film about the Golden Horde’s fearsome leader, played by Tadanobu Asano, is sweeping across the American landscape, not with a tale of Genghis the feared conqueror but of Genghis the faithful father. The main lesson you take away is not that Genghis (born Temudjin) had an insatiable appetite for conquest, but that he was such a dedicated, forgiving husband he’d take his wife back even if she were abducted by Dick Cheney.

The Foot Fist Way

This review first appeared on BackStage.com

by Wayne Melton

Though his first starring role is in The Foot Fist Way, Danny McBride is already well-known for playing straight-talking loudmouths in Drillbit Taylor and The Heartbreak Kid; he’s often one of the best things in such comedies (see also: Hot Rod). The type is epitomized in the character name in his first role, in David Gordon Green’s All the Real Girls: Bust-Ass. So it’s no surprise when we meet the crude, profanity-spewing Fred Simmons, an out-of-shape martial arts instructor who likes to pick on people smaller than himself. White trash is McBride’s specialty.

Sangre de Mi Sangre

This review first appeared on BackStage.com

By Wayne Melton

If, in a summer film, two Americans were mistaken for each other, it would probably be an Adam Sandler comedy. In the Spanish-language film Sangre de Mi Sangre, the contrivance has a bleaker outcome but could be just as tough to believe. It is the unfortunate fate of Pedro (Jorge Adrián Espíndola), on his way to New York from Mexico in the back of a dark trailer, to meet Juan (Armando Hernández), who deftly picks Pedro’s brain and pockets clean of the materials Juan will need to run off with the other’s identity. As tempting as it is to write the scenario off as unlikely coincidence, strong performances by Espíndola and Hernández make it easier to take the characters and their situation seriously.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This review first appeared on StyleWeekly.com

The one thing Indy can’t find is the reason he’s at it again.

by Wayne Melton
The latest “Indiana Jones” adventure has all the ingredients expected from the well-known ’80s franchise (not necessarily how you might remember them, though): egotistically self-deluded villains (the producer and director), lustful groping for treasure (their motivation for making the movie), unfathomable mysteries (the movie itself) and the hero who saves the day in the end (merciful closing credits).

Oh, and there are chase sequences — lots of goofy chase sequences. Because goofy chase sequences were cool in the ’80s.

Rambo: First Blood

This review first appeared on StyleWeekly.com

“Rambo” returns to its roots, remastered, and back in theaters.
by Wayne Melton

Not many movies are, at the same time, both open and impervious to the clarifying effects of a digitally remastered, high-definition makeover as “First Blood.” The 1982 movie is an entertaining camp classic, which tries to walk a line between over-the-top action and social issues. Yet rarely have said ingredients exploded together into such a thrilling mess as in this movie.

Mister Lonely

This review first appeared on BackStage.com

Mister Lonely
May 09, 2008
By Wayne Melton

The lead roles in Harmony Korine’s latest feature, Mister Lonely, are all impersonators: people making their living acting like famous people. Such a down-the-rabbit-hole undertaking leads to many kooky moments and oddly juxtaposed images. Imagine Michael Jackson (Diego Luna) and Marilyn Monroe (Samantha Morton) being ferried in a creaky rowboat. For that matter, imagine Buckwheat, who is not quite real and no longer exactly famous, being impersonated by a young boy (Michael-Joel Stuart), talking to himself luridly about sex. Such is the otherworldly vision of Korine, only slightly toned down since 1999’s Julien Donkey-Boy.

Turn the River

This review first appeared on BackStage.com

By Wayne Melton
Actor Chris Eigeman is a cult- and indie-movie favorite for roles like the sardonic cad he played in 1990’s Metropolitan. It’s always a pleasure to watch him elevate a comic drama, whether in one of his more humble, lesser-known movies or The Last Days of Disco. So it’s surprising, and maybe even a bit of a letdown, to find Eigeman’s first turn writing and directing is an all-serious story, about a down-on-her-luck gambler (Famke Janssen) trying to win back her young son (Jaymie Dornan). Eigeman’s powers of sarcasm and dry wit are of no use to him here, and the movie at times gropes for believability despite good intentions and a sensitive story.

Iron Man

This review first appeared on StyleWeekly.com

Advanced Composite Ceramics Man

The new “Iron Man” carries an old-fashioned worldview.
by Wayne Melton

Robert Downey Jr. supposedly spent several weeks getting in shape for the strenuous duty of lurching around in a superhero costume for his role as an armored crusader in “Iron Man.” Luckily, he had decades to prepare for his role as the hero’s alter ego, billionaire playboy weapons manufacturer Tony Stark, who idles his time between what amount to acting gigs (showmanship sells warheads, the movie tells us), gulping down mixed drinks and leggy starlets. When Downey sits down on the floor in front of a bunch of reporters to announce that he has had a problem with something but plans to quit and turn over a new leaf, you almost have to pinch yourself to remember he’s talking about gazillion-dollar war toys. The sometimes troubled actor does bring some credence to the role of an arrogant, tempestuous young man who becomes enlightened from his dangerous ignorance, though at times he crosses the line between realism and spoof.